A Secret or a Surprise? Pick One.

Does everyone have some dark times? I think so.

Here’s an example of a secret:

A woman bears a child as a result of rape by a family member. She tells you the bare bones. She expects you to never tell anyone else, for the sake of the child. You agree. You are not sure about the nature of God, but when you pray, you sometimes mention that woman. You worry more about her than about the child — the child may never find out. The woman, though, lives with the knowledge, 24/7. You hope it’s worth it to her, to guard the secret and never let it go.

When the rapist finally dies of old age, the chill blue thread of the Internet trembles, and you find her online and say, “I’m glad.” She replies, “So am I.”

What Do You Mean by “a Surprise”?

That same woman, a mom my age, coaxed me to attend a workshop with her, on protecting your children from sexual abuse. I’d been out of college for seven years, and long away from the kind of learning that comes in workshops. Though she lived on the ragged side of poverty, she paid the fee for both of us to sign up — so I agreed.

Much of what the leader presented came as statistics. It’s easy to overlook how close the numbers can come to your own life. “My child will never be one of those; my family is not part of those charts. How sad that other people have this happen to them.”