I Learn How Terrific Dave Is!

In 2002, as Dave and I became a couple, we both turned 50, at different seasons of the year. (He was older — born on January 1, supposedly costing his father a year of tax deductions that could have been there if he’d been a few hours earlier!) The last social moment that we spent separately was on Brad Bailey’s birthday that summer — it was a “milestone” birthday and Dave phoned me several times from the celebration, to tell me about the clam bake, the fireworks. The two men usually each smoked a cigar on these occasions, a salute to the years they’d been friends.

Dave and Brad with cigars (a year later but much the same!).

As “assistant dean of residential life” at Lyndon State College, Dave hired and trained two decades of young men and women to become residential assistants (RAs) and some to be head residents (HRs), securing and supporting the lively dorms of students. Dave’s responsibilities ran 24/7: from supervising his staff to ordering replacement furnishings to coping with overflowing bathrooms and small fires, and to managing communications with law enforcement as needed. He loved it. Brad had been one of his “hires” and they remained as firmly connected as brothers.

When we met, Dave’s college career was about four years behind him. A forced resignation deprived him of the work he loved. Although he then took a couple of sensible office-management jobs for food sales companies locally, his heart was broken. Next…