The Broken Years

Coaching myself … I think I can, I think I can … mending the car exhaust.

Do you know how to mend a broken exhaust pipe, if you are flat broke? I had to learn, in my second marriage.

If you have an empty soup can, you start there — if not, take a can of something that’s sat in your cupboard for too long (nobody likes it; you never made that recipe you clipped out) and dump the contents, then rinse the can. Remove both top and bottom lids.

You need a pair of metal shears next; borrow some. (Wire snips can eventually work but you may injure yourself more.) Cut the can vertically so you can spread the edges some. Get some wire. Picture wire is about the best thickness, but if you have none, a twisted-open coat hanger can work.

Climb underneath, carrying the can and the wire and a pair of pliers. Place the can as a sleeve around the hole in the exhaust pipe. (Obviously this doesn’t work for a muffler; see later note.) Then bind it in place with the wire, tightening the wire as much as you can with the pliers.

I fixed our car … but when the kids and I found this one in the woods, we said “no way!”

Now you can drive without roaring, and go straight to an auto parts place (or department store with car stuff) and buy a package of muffler bandage or exhaust wrap. It’s got a sort of ceramic impregnated in it. Take it home — wear dish gloves…